I think I need to give up the idea of trying to resurrect Leonine Ponderances since it always seems like too much work to log in to post random stuff. I think I’ll keep it for yarn/101in1001 stuff but might do LJ for regular day to day.
Been thinking again about how much writing about the mundane seeming stuff proved useful later because then I could look up to see what happened or when things happened.
Like for example, Dad & I bought a trailer a month ago. Every weekend since, we’ve worked on it together or at least spent time together. This is good. This weekend we took it up and got it into place and slept in it for the first time. That was fun.
What was not fun was Ryan hearing a rattle in time to haul off backwards pulling Casey (“his” dog) with him. I wasn’t sure if rattlesnakes lived there but never bothered to look it up to be sure. I was freaking out in my mind because the dogs, mine and theirs, had been wandering around and Bastian had been digging. They weren’t once we knew the snake was there cause we immediately gathered them up into the trailer. Then I did battle with the snake. Very long tree crooked tree branches are your friend.
I wanted to kill it but ended up flipping it away and chasing it down into a hole so that it was away from us and not likely to come back out again soon. Mind you this was the hole that Bastian spent about a half hour digging into. *gulp*
Been watching a lot of Grey’s Anatomy lately but keep getting stymied lately by dvd issues. Like getting broken ones in the mail so having to wait til the replacement comes. The drive getting broken cause Ryan wasn’t gentle with my backpack of computer gear. Usually I try to be laid back about stuff breaking cause its hard to be sure what broke it or etc and in the end its’ not that important. However, he was a major PITA all weekend, constantly pissed off about any and everything including his precious dog Casey. Was hard to keep a good mood and I find myself still angry about it. Cause ever since Dad’s best friend died last year after my bday, I’ve been even more aware of my Dad’s not so good physical state and the fact that he could follow suit at any time. So it’s important to spend the time together having fun and being companionable and not arguing and bitching constantly.
Talked with Aunt Ann today, who is my favorite aunt. She thanked me for the postcard I sent her a while ago that I had made of a photo I took of Grandma’s roses in 2004. Apparently the roses have largely died out now and so that’s all that is left of them. A single bush and the photos. Anyways we got to talking and I was reminded again about how much I hurt for my friends who have sociopaths after them.
As I said to her, I’m not used to the existence of those kind of people in my personal world. In the books and movies and the news, but I’m used to being surrounded by basically good people. The worst just being someone flawed enough that they’re not likeable or pleasant to be around. People who have no other purpose in life but to terrorize, stalk, destroy others… they just don’t compute. Or at least they didn’t use to and now… well I’m very aware of their existence and how they just NEVER stop. It is always crazy-making to me to try and think about the whole thing cause it’s nothing but insanity that it all happened and keeps happening in the first place. I guess I still haven’t learned how to process the existence of such evil. But at least I’m lucky in that I’m not the target. Oh and it’s not just one person… there’s at least 4 different people in the psychopath bin here.
Not so lucky that I do very much have my own worries with my parents. As I said before, I worry about Dad’s health especially when he keeps pushing himself physically. And things are so bad with Mom that well let’s put it this way, it was a shock to suddenly remember about her. It’s so upsetting yet I’ve no power to do anything to help that I’ve had to just block the whole thing out in my head and forget.
So I guess it’s not surprising that I am sad today. The last for several days sadness about everything kind of sad.
Sucks to be powerless.
For myself, I’ve been feeling better now that the foster girl is gone. It was an experiment… and it failed in a way I didn’t expect it to. It’s sad but I can only do so much. And I know my limits even more now.
House is always in a varying state of disaster. It was better for a while but right now its bad again cause I’ve been photographing my yarn stash for Ravelry which is helping me to organize what I have so I can make plans to use it up. Need to finish and put it all away again.
Need to do so many things really and don’t have energy for it.
its been a lot of fun getting back into knitting. Recreational and keeps my hands busy which is good cause my hair’s been growing out. Just been frustrating because been knitting hats for money and its been hard to allow myself to work on other things because that’s taking time away from making hats to pay off some debts and bills. But there was a deadline for the hats and its roughly now so time to finish them up and get in the email. Will mail on the 7th which should be plenty of time. Then… the hard part is deciding what to work on next or finish.
Oh also annoyed with the LA Library whose system didn’t allow me to renew online so now a bunch of books are overdue. Definitely plan on contesting that.
to be continued
